when bad days happen

"No bad days" is probably one of my least favorite sayings.

Not that it's wrong to try and see the positives from a not-so-great session... but YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE A BAD DAY!

And they're inevitably going to happen, so it's important to have an idea in mind of how you're going to move through them and past them.

Enter: Self-Determination Theory

I was recently introduced the self-determination theory of motivation by Coach Jeremy Fein.

The theory goes that there are three psychological needs for intrinsic motivation. Those are autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

These are three things worth looking at when you have a bad day.

1. Autonomy

Describes feeling in control of your actions and having choice in what you do.

A bad day due to lack of autonomy may look like: "I didn't get to go to the climbs I wanted to try." / "I wanted to spend more time on that particular climb but the group decided to move on." /  "I didn't want to try the route anymore but I was stuck there and had nothing else to work on."

Solution: How can you create a more conducive environment for your autonomy?

For example, finding climbing partners who want to work on the same climb as you, or climbing partners who are willing to split time equally and without pressure.

Or can you find more autonomy within a group-driven environment? For example, deciding to do your warm up routine while you are hanging out at other people's projects. Or trying a nearby climb that's new to you, even though it wasn't originally on your list, etc.

2. Competence 

Describes feeling like you have the necessary skills and abilities for success.

A bad day from feeling incompetent may look like: "I'm not strong enough for this climb." / "I didn't prepare enough." / "This is too hard for me, my technique isn't solid enough."

Solution: Ties back to autonomy. Remember, YOU are ultimately in control of the challenges you take on.

If you start to feel incompetent, do you need to dial back the intensity of the climbs you're getting on? Maybe create a few secondary goals to tick off so you can boost your confidence to tackle the harder climbs again.

What is your tolerance for challenge that day? Do you feel mentally prepared to try really hard and push your limits without a guarantee of success? Or do you want to have more confidence in your preparation before you try?

3. Relatedness

Describes a sense of belonging, receiving empathy, and feeling respected.

A bad day from lack of relatedness may look like climbing with a group of people who all climb a similar grade level but you climb a couple grades lower. Maybe you go to a climb that they all work on together, but you're unable to make the same progress. You feel self-conscious about your climbing, even if they're encouraging.

Solution: Try to find a common ground within that environment. Maybe instead of working on the same boulder, you try the climb next to it that's a similar difficulty for you as their climb is for them. You can relate to each other in the process of figuring out beta, trying the same amount of hard, encouraging each other on the respective climbs.

Or change your environment and balance climbing with those stronger than you and getting out with those at a similar level.

There are many other examples, these are just a few. Where are you at with your autonomy, competence, and relatedness? Is there one that feels like it causes more bad days than others?