group climbing dynamics
We've all been there... you're the only one in your group trying a particular climb. You feel like their eyeballs are burning into the back of your head and every time you fall, heat rushes to your face.
It's a topic that frequently comes up in my coaching and my clients all say something similar along the lines of, "I know my friends don't mind hanging out and the pressure is all self-imposed, but I don't know how to not feel like I'm holding the group back."
Unintentional Model:
Circumstance: I'm the only one in my group trying this climb
Thought: I wish I could just send this climb so that the group could move on already, they're just waiting on me
Feelings: self-conscious, anxious, unfocused, flustered
Action: try climb fewer times, don't take as long of rests, end session earlier than usual
Result: improper recovery, poorer quality attempts, don't send (use as evidence, "see I'm not sending anyway, the group should just move on")
Intentional model:
C: I'm the only one in my group trying this climb
T: we came to the agreement as a group to let me try this climb, my friends want me to enjoy my time on this climb, my friends are not judging me and they want me to succeed
F: excited, motivated, supported, focused
A: give climb more attempts, take proper rests in between, collaborate with friends on beta/tactics, end session when satisfied and/or when the group collectively agreed beforehand
R: better quality attempts, learn something about project and/or send
It makes sense that things feel high pressure and urgent when we feel like the spotlight is on us. Just remember, this is a circumstance and we are the ones who assign thoughts and feelings to it.
Here are some things you can try to keep your thoughts and feelings about the circumstance more neutral or even positive.
-We've all been the one trying the climb and the one hanging out while our friend or partner tries a climb. It's part of being a good climbing partner.
You wouldn't want your friend feeling rushed while you were hanging out, and it goes the other way around! Trust that if they say they don't mind hanging out, that they don't mind hanging out!
-Figure out some parameters that may help you feel less pressured. For example, setting a time parameter may help.
Rather than trying to keep track of how much time you've spent on your climb calculating how that compares to how long you were at their climb, come to an agreement beforehand. If you agreed that you have an hour to try your climb, then you can plan your time accordingly.
What strategies have worked for you to overcome this type of mindset block?
